I realized just how perverse my sense of humor gets when I'm sick after I woke up to a text message reading

Its 5:00 do you know where your ass_ is? Merry Fucking Christmas Eve from Grand Junction, CO.

and I laughed hysterically.

His next text message mentioned being in Utah and picking up three wives, then a later call from Vegas involved pimps giving out cards. Also something about the Eiffel Tower and the volcano fountain at the Mirage... and more pimps. Or security guards picking up their cards. I'm too muzzy to remember now.

I wish my Christmas was so exciting, but the worst of the stomach bug seems to have passed so I'm actually staying awake through any given hour of TV programming instead of hallucinating that dahunk2003 was on Tactical to Practical (it must have been the paintball segment triggering my association with him paintballing) when I was failing miserably to stay awake through Tech Tuesday on the History Channel last night.