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Seriously. Since Himself did not get off work early Thursday night (for the parade at 0700 Friday, which he therefore got out of attending) we planned to go do grocery shopping this morning. That didn't happen, so instead he took Laurel out looking for parts to fix her VCR while I rounded up the videos she'd scattered, degooped a few she'd gotten into, and sorted them into two plastic sweater boxes to keep her from easily getting into them again. She is now happily set up with being able to watch videos in her room once more and I don't have to listen to the obnoxious red bathmat in the living room when I could have NPR on.

Five minutes after I finished talking to Mom and fifteen minutes after Himself left for work, his supervisor called to say he didn't need to come in. This was nice to hear, although it took him twice as long as normal traffic to get home because people don't know how to drive (hint: don't merge in front of a truck unless you have sufficient space).

Since it's close to my birthday, we decided to splurge on dinner at Hikari's before grocery shopping. One of their new servers accidentally got Himself's drink in my lap (he was leaning over a bit too far), but aside from that we had a great time -- Laurel watched the sushi chef, I tried a new dish, we had red bean ice cream (yum) and I got Laurel's favorite hostess to pose for a picture with her. (:

Why will I never go out again on tax-free weekend? Because all the people who I'm pretty sure are vegetables the rest of the year come out of the woodwork. A few examples:

  • While making our normal efficient round in Sam's Club, we got stopped heading towards the back of the store by a bunch of kids watching (I kid you not) the menu screen for a DVD being shown on a big-screen TV facing one of the main aisles. Since there were no adults within 25 feet, I think they may have grown there like mold.

  • Heading into one of the frozen aisles, we found it blocked by an extremely slow-moving woman that gave new meaning to the lyrics of "Baby Got Back". Apparently she couldn't look UP at the aisle markers since she was acting lost, but I was too tired to turn back halfway down the aisle, go down the next one, and come back down the original one so we just followed her snail's pace while Laurel ran back and forth. At the end of the aisle, the woman said "no, wasn't here" and turned away from the direction we were heading (thank goodness).

  • We still needed a few items Sam's either doesn't carry or we wanted in less bulk (like tissues, which I prefer not to buy in 10-packs) so we headed to Wal-Mart. After moving at a snail's pace behind some supersized locals, I nearly hit a couple of kids that kept darting in and out of the clothing racks next to the aisle. When I stopped short to avoid hitting them, their mother bumped into me and said "you got to go with the flow" -- or something like that, if you speak like your mouth is full of marbles. I decided to get far away from them before they tried to eat us.

  • While heading to the grocery side of the store after indulging Himself looking for a mini sledgehammer, I ran into two girls humping. No kidding, one of them was humping the other's back. I was considering taking a picture and captioning it to the effect of why I don't need to ever visit teen porn sites like I regularly get spam from, but then I realized their breasts hadn't migrated up to their chests yet. Imagine my weight and cleavage compressed down to about 4'8" with skin showing between the shirt and pants. Humping. Their parents were around the corner and gave me frosty looks in tandem for bumping into their precious Bratleighs. I smiled and said "sorry, I'm not a local." Later on we saw them again, one humper carrying the other. It was really quite stunning... like a blow to the head. Too bad their parents never told them that in a busy time in a store, you don't just stand around and hump in main aisles, since wankers like me leave the side aisles to the humpers, emo kids making out with themselves, and other assorted people I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole.


( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 1st, 2003 09:43 pm (UTC)
reading your post are funny in a way, how you refer to "himself" im assuming you mean your husband, it throws me off everytime i read that.

whats this with "tax free" weekend? hell we dont have anything like that here? is that just a local area thing going on?
Aug. 1st, 2003 10:48 pm (UTC)
That's just me poking fun at how people think they're anonymous on the Internet. Also, I like the way "Himself" looks in type more than I do "Robert".

The state calls it a tax holiday. It technically only applies to things students might need for schoool -- clothing, shoes, school supplies, sports equipment, computers, printers, printer supplies, and educational software with certain price limits on each category -- but lots of stores are running sales to get people to buy non-temporarily-exempt stuff while they're out shopping.
Aug. 2nd, 2003 11:57 am (UTC)
Ah, I had always assumed it was something like in Infinite Jest (which I don't think you've read yet), where Hal's father, James O. Incandenza, is referred to as "Himself" (where other people would say "Dad" or "My Dad" or something), as short for "The Man Himself".

Hal's mother, Avril M. Incandenza is referred to as "The Moms". For some reason, I don't quite remember why.
Aug. 2nd, 2003 04:26 pm (UTC)
You're right that I haven't read it yet. If any of the Edward McKay used bookstores gets a copy before the end of August it's mine. Since the local library here is sorely lacking, if it's not in Jeffco's circulation after I get home one of the other Denver metro library systems will have it and I can get it on ILL.

I could see if it's in the CU library system, but I haven't been to any of their libraries since before Laurel was born and they were the only local source for a book recommended to the alt.folklore.urban FAQ team for an article on whether humans really only use 10% of their brain. Sadly, I don't remember anything from the book.

I could never refer to my mother as a plural entity. I'd get too confused. (:
Aug. 2nd, 2003 05:37 pm (UTC)
Cool.. I think I've warned you about this before, but if you get the option, go for the Hardcover. Actually, I don't think I need to tell you, since you prefer Hardcovers anyway, don't you? But, yeah, the dustjacket's better than the PB cover, there's actually a missing thing in the paperback (which while I"m not sure if it's a spoiler really, and it probably is, although Ben didn't seem to have a problem telling me about it, regardless it's something that's difficult to explain other than going "HERE LOOK" with an actual copy, so I won't mention what it is here), and, oh, yeah, it's reading a goddamn 1000 page book with a soft-spine versus a goddamn 1000 page book with a real, stitched spin that actually allows you to read all the page.

And I seem to remember the paperback pages being really thin (almost like bibles, but probably not nearly that thin), while the Hardback pages have a nice heft.

Anyway, I'm about 300 or so pages in so far. It's awesome. But, again, i recommend checking out, say, Brief Interviews or maybe A Supposedly Fun Thing, just because those are _way_ shorter, and, well, if you turn out to hate DFW's style, at least then you're only staring at a 300 page collection of short stories/essays (s.s. for Brief, essays for Fun Thing), which is much less daunting than staring at 1000 pages of something you don't-want-to-read-and-won't.
Aug. 1st, 2003 09:54 pm (UTC)
Um, I think you may have listed the reasons why I don't frequent Walmart. I think it may attract the people that normally don't come out until night or live under rocks. I'm not quite sure but everytime I go I get an education I'd rather not have. Like the woman eating an ice cream bar and leaving the chocolate that fell on the register stand so my friend could conveniently put her wallet down on top of it. Gross. Thank for the giggles.
Aug. 2nd, 2003 12:54 am (UTC)
Since we live on swing shift hours, we usually aren't in the store at a time when very many people are shopping, so tonight's adventure was... interesting. (The Wal-Mart here is the only 24-hour grocery store in town.) Glad I made you laugh, though. Sometimes this town is too weird for my taste.
Aug. 2nd, 2003 10:53 am (UTC)
The hand full of times I've gone, I noticed the best time was at like 7am or so. It's less busy. Still dirty and cluttered but less people. Their stuff is so damn cheap though. The only problem for me is that I have to muster up the courage to go there. You did a great job describing what each of them was doing. Yikes!
Aug. 1st, 2003 09:58 pm (UTC)
I dislike Walmart too, for the same reasons you dislike it.

We need a tax-free weekend. Or do we? :-)
Aug. 2nd, 2003 10:53 am (UTC)
With the way that Ohio's been raising and extending the sales tax??? Not a chance it will ever happen!

We had the tax holiday in New York, too. I think it was in mid-August sometime, but school didn't start there until September. I don't know, the one year that I lived there at the relevent time, it was 2001, and the details got kinda lost in the whole 9/11 crap a couple weeks later.
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 2nd, 2003 01:00 am (UTC)
I have a short temper for things I view as inefficient or stupid, which is why you see me ranting a lot lately. I'm not quite as outspoken in person, although I've learned the hard way to not drop into Spanish when I'm cranky -- security guards latch onto it and tail me. Heh.

I'm not sure where to find red bean ice cream other than at Japanese restaurants, and my best friend would know where to find it in the Springs better than I would. Want me to ask him and get back to you on finding it in your area?
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 2nd, 2003 07:30 pm (UTC)
It's not quite as entertaining since you left. I never see any naked men in wizard's hats... well, I won't touch that.

Your other half may be relieved to know I finally bought a steamer basket, though I haven't used it yet.
Aug. 2nd, 2003 09:21 am (UTC)
lol. I knew when I moved to Goldsboro, something wasn't right about this town. But I have to admit, seeing those girls hump, would have been funny. :)
Aug. 2nd, 2003 11:02 am (UTC)
Hehehe :)
Heh, shouldn't we be encouraging open displays of gay pride down there in the Southland? Unless they're sisters, because then we get into an even ickier form of incest! *shudders* ;)
Aug. 2nd, 2003 04:27 pm (UTC)
Re: Hehehe :)
They looked related.

I think displaying gay pride would get me lynched in this town, although I've heard there's a thriving GBLT community in the Triangle (Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, etc.).
Aug. 3rd, 2003 01:04 am (UTC)
Oh, no! It's one of those scary "the family tree don't branch" pairings!

One worries when one realizes that incest isn't that big of a deal in rural areas, but homosexuality is...
Aug. 3rd, 2003 10:43 am (UTC)
I never had the red bean ice cream, but the green tea flavor is heavenly.

You just listed all the reasons i hate sam's club... but I still go there anyway!!! For tasx-free shopping on big stuff, I go to Delaware (no sales tax!), other than that, there's no tax on clothing in NJ.
Aug. 4th, 2003 02:16 pm (UTC)
I've never really warmed up to green tea ice cream, although Himself adores it. I want to go back one more time so I can try their ginger ice cream since that's the only flavor I haven't tried yet.

I don't mind Sam's Club since it never gets as crowded and unpleasant as the Wal-Mart here, but I've learned my lesson about going out on tax holiday weekend! Since I couldn't find a replacement toner cartridge (I don't need it yet, I just like to be prepared) on the tax-free weekend I might as well just buy a refurbished/recycled cartridge when I need one since it's half the price.
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )


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