Melissa, starry-eyed soy-lovin' Expatriated Zulu (oddharmonic) wrote,
Melissa, starry-eyed soy-lovin' Expatriated Zulu

Note to self: don't go out on tax-free weekend.

Seriously. Since Himself did not get off work early Thursday night (for the parade at 0700 Friday, which he therefore got out of attending) we planned to go do grocery shopping this morning. That didn't happen, so instead he took Laurel out looking for parts to fix her VCR while I rounded up the videos she'd scattered, degooped a few she'd gotten into, and sorted them into two plastic sweater boxes to keep her from easily getting into them again. She is now happily set up with being able to watch videos in her room once more and I don't have to listen to the obnoxious red bathmat in the living room when I could have NPR on.

Five minutes after I finished talking to Mom and fifteen minutes after Himself left for work, his supervisor called to say he didn't need to come in. This was nice to hear, although it took him twice as long as normal traffic to get home because people don't know how to drive (hint: don't merge in front of a truck unless you have sufficient space).

Since it's close to my birthday, we decided to splurge on dinner at Hikari's before grocery shopping. One of their new servers accidentally got Himself's drink in my lap (he was leaning over a bit too far), but aside from that we had a great time -- Laurel watched the sushi chef, I tried a new dish, we had red bean ice cream (yum) and I got Laurel's favorite hostess to pose for a picture with her. (:

Why will I never go out again on tax-free weekend? Because all the people who I'm pretty sure are vegetables the rest of the year come out of the woodwork. A few examples:

  • While making our normal efficient round in Sam's Club, we got stopped heading towards the back of the store by a bunch of kids watching (I kid you not) the menu screen for a DVD being shown on a big-screen TV facing one of the main aisles. Since there were no adults within 25 feet, I think they may have grown there like mold.

  • Heading into one of the frozen aisles, we found it blocked by an extremely slow-moving woman that gave new meaning to the lyrics of "Baby Got Back". Apparently she couldn't look UP at the aisle markers since she was acting lost, but I was too tired to turn back halfway down the aisle, go down the next one, and come back down the original one so we just followed her snail's pace while Laurel ran back and forth. At the end of the aisle, the woman said "no, wasn't here" and turned away from the direction we were heading (thank goodness).

  • We still needed a few items Sam's either doesn't carry or we wanted in less bulk (like tissues, which I prefer not to buy in 10-packs) so we headed to Wal-Mart. After moving at a snail's pace behind some supersized locals, I nearly hit a couple of kids that kept darting in and out of the clothing racks next to the aisle. When I stopped short to avoid hitting them, their mother bumped into me and said "you got to go with the flow" -- or something like that, if you speak like your mouth is full of marbles. I decided to get far away from them before they tried to eat us.

  • While heading to the grocery side of the store after indulging Himself looking for a mini sledgehammer, I ran into two girls humping. No kidding, one of them was humping the other's back. I was considering taking a picture and captioning it to the effect of why I don't need to ever visit teen porn sites like I regularly get spam from, but then I realized their breasts hadn't migrated up to their chests yet. Imagine my weight and cleavage compressed down to about 4'8" with skin showing between the shirt and pants. Humping. Their parents were around the corner and gave me frosty looks in tandem for bumping into their precious Bratleighs. I smiled and said "sorry, I'm not a local." Later on we saw them again, one humper carrying the other. It was really quite stunning... like a blow to the head. Too bad their parents never told them that in a busy time in a store, you don't just stand around and hump in main aisles, since wankers like me leave the side aisles to the humpers, emo kids making out with themselves, and other assorted people I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole.
Tags: 640.73_shopping, 817_humor, 975.6_north_carolina

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