I hope Dianne Bailey-Holland [Mean Women's Health Nurse] suffers from anal itching and that Captain TooBusyToSeeMe (even though I waited two weeks for that appointment; her real last name is Locke) actually has no brain.
I've been toying with the idea of faking something so I can at least get some painkillers from the clinic because neither the Motrin (400 and 800mg tabs) nor the aspirin (250mg tabs, coated) is doing a damn thing and I'm out of cramp bark (I didn't have much to begin with) and the local health store charges $15/ounce for it loose, which Himself thinks is too much.
I was talking with revme about faking something to get seen at the clinic since I obviously can't fake being pregnant to be seen and the only other thing they would have seen me expediently for is an STD. He remarked it'd be funny if I did and then said "Ha ha, it doesn't really burn when I pee, it just hurts immensely to just exist! Fooled you! Sucker!" Between that and the sports anchor on the news saying "and the Viagra car goes crashing into the wall!", I actually cracked a smile.
In the meanwhile, what symptoms should I say I have and behavior do I need to do in order to get some painkillers at my appointment on the 4th, assuming I'm not screwed out of seeing someone again? I can live with the fact that the SJAFB clinic sucks my left nut, but I'm ready to do a do-it-yourself hysterectomy as soon as I figure out how to do it without passing out from blood loss. Incidentally, if anyone has directions for that I could use them.