Melissa, starry-eyed soy-lovin' Expatriated Zulu (oddharmonic) wrote,
Melissa, starry-eyed soy-lovin' Expatriated Zulu

Soliciting ideas to get pain relief from the clinic since they think I'm fine...

...and saving all my menstrual blood would just be too gross, although I'm not opposed to the idea. I do need to buy a DivaCup or MoonCup as soon as we can afford it though, since I've developed a latex sensitivity from having to use my Keeper every other week.

I hope Dianne Bailey-Holland [Mean Women's Health Nurse] suffers from anal itching and that Captain TooBusyToSeeMe (even though I waited two weeks for that appointment; her real last name is Locke) actually has no brain.

I've been toying with the idea of faking something so I can at least get some painkillers from the clinic because neither the Motrin (400 and 800mg tabs) nor the aspirin (250mg tabs, coated) is doing a damn thing and I'm out of cramp bark (I didn't have much to begin with) and the local health store charges $15/ounce for it loose, which Himself thinks is too much.

I was talking with revme about faking something to get seen at the clinic since I obviously can't fake being pregnant to be seen and the only other thing they would have seen me expediently for is an STD. He remarked it'd be funny if I did and then said "Ha ha, it doesn't really burn when I pee, it just hurts immensely to just exist! Fooled you! Sucker!" Between that and the sports anchor on the news saying "and the Viagra car goes crashing into the wall!", I actually cracked a smile.

In the meanwhile, what symptoms should I say I have and behavior do I need to do in order to get some painkillers at my appointment on the 4th, assuming I'm not screwed out of seeing someone again? I can live with the fact that the SJAFB clinic sucks my left nut, but I'm ready to do a do-it-yourself hysterectomy as soon as I figure out how to do it without passing out from blood loss. Incidentally, if anyone has directions for that I could use them.
Tags: 618.1 women's health, 618.172_alternative_menstrual_products

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