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...and saving all my menstrual blood would just be too gross, although I'm not opposed to the idea. I do need to buy a DivaCup or MoonCup as soon as we can afford it though, since I've developed a latex sensitivity from having to use my Keeper every other week.

I hope Dianne Bailey-Holland [Mean Women's Health Nurse] suffers from anal itching and that Captain TooBusyToSeeMe (even though I waited two weeks for that appointment; her real last name is Locke) actually has no brain.

I've been toying with the idea of faking something so I can at least get some painkillers from the clinic because neither the Motrin (400 and 800mg tabs) nor the aspirin (250mg tabs, coated) is doing a damn thing and I'm out of cramp bark (I didn't have much to begin with) and the local health store charges $15/ounce for it loose, which Himself thinks is too much.

I was talking with revme about faking something to get seen at the clinic since I obviously can't fake being pregnant to be seen and the only other thing they would have seen me expediently for is an STD. He remarked it'd be funny if I did and then said "Ha ha, it doesn't really burn when I pee, it just hurts immensely to just exist! Fooled you! Sucker!" Between that and the sports anchor on the news saying "and the Viagra car goes crashing into the wall!", I actually cracked a smile.

In the meanwhile, what symptoms should I say I have and behavior do I need to do in order to get some painkillers at my appointment on the 4th, assuming I'm not screwed out of seeing someone again? I can live with the fact that the SJAFB clinic sucks my left nut, but I'm ready to do a do-it-yourself hysterectomy as soon as I figure out how to do it without passing out from blood loss. Incidentally, if anyone has directions for that I could use them.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 27th, 2003 11:33 pm (UTC)
I would tell them you're having really bad ovarian pain and one of your old doctors diagnosed you with mittelschmerz or something and that you can't get any sleep ever and it's just making everything worse...because that got me painkillers...if you play the I can't sleep I'm in so much pain angle they'll give you pain killers...nothing showed on your pelvic ultrasound, though? how bizarre...I hate doctors. oh you also might try really limiting caffiene and hydrogenated oil intake to help with cramps.
Jul. 28th, 2003 06:53 pm (UTC)
I'm definitely going to bring up the pain causing a lack of sleep because it is cutting into my sleep -- Himself said I was crying in my sleep last night. *sigh* It explains why my sinuses hurt when I woke up this morning.

All that showed up on my pelvic ultrasound was a 1x2cm cyst, but it's practically insignificant as cysts go. However, I haven't had a Pap in over a year and since I didn't get a pelvic exam at either of my recent clinic visits, there's still a lot more that needs to be done to rule out an obvious cause.

I went cold-turkey off caffeine in early 2000 and barely have any now (I drank Mountain Dew a handful of times during vacation in May), though I will try cutting back on the hydrogenated oil. I've mostly been living on breads and fruits lately, but I'll try anything that might help. Thanks.
Jul. 28th, 2003 07:29 am (UTC)
i don't know if this will work for such severe pain, but when i don't hurt enough to warrant a handful of aspirin, i've tried some reiki techniques. its sounds kinda cheesy but it helped a bit.

my friend just showed me techniques and didn't really explain all the stuff behind it. hold your hands about an inch or two above the worst pain and just kinda of massage the air above it. i use a lot of visualization. i do some deep breathing and visualize inhaling soothing feelings and exhaling the painful feelings. i also vizualize the air above the pained area as red (or another angry color) and hot and imagine that cool blue energy is moving from my hands to the spot, replacing the red heat.

when i do the reiki techniques, i usually feel a tingling in my hands around the fingers and i feel heat where there's pain. i've reiki'd migraines and the like from people.

if anything, it'll probably put you to sleep.
Jul. 28th, 2003 06:59 pm (UTC)
I learned a variety of visualization techniques when I was pregnant (I have chronic lower back pain, but wearing an adjustable brace has really helped), but my primary problem lately is that when I get the cramps I have trouble focusing enough to do anything.

Deep breathing does help my sleep -- that's what I was taught as a little kid to do. (:
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


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Melissa, starry-eyed soy-lovin' Expatriated Zulu

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