I had to fight the urge to create a fake screenname in response and see if she'd believe I'm a hunk of burning testosterone... where I'd probably say "uhh" and adjust my package a lot.
The message, stripped of extraneous crap:
There is a new online code out, kinda like lol or brb. This one is a little different though. You all know how it feels when you're talking to someone online, and your Mom is standing right behind you, reading every word that is on the screen. Then of course, the other person swears or talks about how much you luv your crush or something and your Mom reads it and tells you to get offline that instant, and not talk to that person anymore. Well, what can we do about that? To solve this problem, now we have started the "Code 9" system.
In code 9, u simply press "9" when your parent or sibling is watching over your shoulder as you type. That way, the other person will know what you are talkin about, and begin a conversation about homework or something. When your Mom or dad leaves, press "69" to let the other person know that they r gone, so u can have a normal conversation again
NOW, SEND THIS TO EVERY1 U KNOW, SO CODE 9 CAN GO INTO EFFECT!!! IT IS VERY IMPORTANT YOU SEND THIS EMAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!