Tomorrow I am slated to brave the Dallas Zoo as a chaperon on the first-grade field trip, followed by my first appointment with my new meds doc later this week. I am rustling up all the intestinal fortitude I have for the former and looking forward to the latter.
Earlier today I submitted my resume for consideration at Woot.com, which has an opening for a customer service representative. I'm not getting my hopes up after the scores of resumes I've sent out since last summer, but the job descriptions on their Work for Woot page cracked me up and I think they might bite if I propose to work two weeks for free before they decide whether to hire me. (I am in a financially secure enough place right now to make that offer and yes, I would like to work for Woot that much.)
Dear Woot staff,
I don't have professional experience in customer service skills, but I have years of experience in volunteer positions soothing angry parties, effectively answering questions that I had never thought of before being asked, and guiding non-tech savvy people through troubleshooting.
I have over ten years of experience using Microsoft Office, used Windows since version 3.1, and type at 60 wpm before my morning caffeine. While my own geek cred is pretty weak, I have charmed higher-level geeks that will vouch for me. Furthermore, I am conveniently located near [intersection near their corporate location].
I'm happy to come bearing brownies or pretty much any baked good on request and I have a +2 dexterity bonus if a task involves cake decorating skills. Before you ask, I can also upgrade my baked goods with pyrotechnics. I don't have any skill bonuses for that, but I have a ratcheting PVC pipe cutter and a healthy stash of morning glory sparklers.
Enclosed is my brief resume; my extended technical resume is available on request. Thank you for your time and consideration.
[my legal name]