This is why you might not want to ask me to make you a cake.
If I ever made myself a wedding cake , it would have to have an abominably tacky topper. Like Tripp and T'Pol from Enterprise, the Bendy wedding topper that used to be in the Archie McPhee catalog, or perhaps a gnome seesaw. It's actually a garden sculpture, but it's no more of a troutrage  than a wedding cake made out of donuts or snack food products.
Actually, after all the inspiration I've gotten from watching Ace of Cakes on Food Network, I'd probably eschew the topper for fireworks.
1. If I could go to culinary school and just wank all day with fondant and spun sugar I would probably die of happiness. 2. Troutrage is a combination of travesty + outrage, coined by suburbfabulous.