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From SugarBank, a blog about the business of pornography: A Pornographer's Guide to Protecting Kids from Porn Online. (This specific post does not contain explicit content.)

It's nice to see someone else saying the same thing I was saying to a newsgroup in 1999 about safe surfing needing active supervision more than filtering software. My favorite lines from Sam Sugar's article:

"Protecting children who aren't actively looking for sexual material is as simple as good parenting."


"When minors are interested enough in sex to look for it online, the rules change. You can't treat pornography as something they're innocently stumbling into, and you can't expect them to ignore the mental and physical aspects of puberty until they're legal adults."


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 27th, 2006 04:52 am (UTC)
Excellent article!
Thanks for the link. I couldn't agree more with the author's point of view.
Feb. 27th, 2006 05:25 am (UTC)
I'm glad someone is talking truthfully about this. I have to roll my eyes when I hear people talk like kids are these innocents that only find porn when some evil adult is pushing it on them. I know I spent a good portion of my youth looking for sexual references in books at the library, and I'm sure I wasn't the only one.
Feb. 27th, 2006 05:32 am (UTC)
Sounds a lot like my thoughts about kids and internet porn. I know that my brother and sis-in-law don't have porn filters on their computers, and my nephew never goes looking for porn on the net. I think at his age (11 yo on the 6th) it would probably traumatize him more than anything, if he even understood what he was looking at. But I know that my brother and sis-in-law are also very open parents, and rarely, if ever, whip out the "you're too young to know about that" line.
Mar. 1st, 2006 02:12 am (UTC)
I was very open with my daughter, too... but then, my parents taught me the basics at age 5 (because I was questioning).

But, when she was 9 we had this really awkward discussion about what a period is and why it happens and why it was happening to her at that particular time. {chuckle} I'm not sure she'll ever forgive me for that.

Then, again... she thought I was gay until I met oddharmonic and I actually think she was pissed when she found out that I wasn't. LOL So, who knows what the random kid will think?
Feb. 27th, 2006 06:49 am (UTC)
When I was teen, I had playboys.
When my Uncles were teens, they had Lady Chattery's Lover
When my Grandpa was young, they 8-pagers
When my G-Grampa was young, they had little photos.
Before that was etchings.
Back in Roman times they clay pottery...

And no matter what, there was the "behind the barn" where older kids told younger "secrets" or *even better* you go to play doctor with the girl next door.

Porn, erotica, sexual knowledge has been available since the dawn of time. The only thing that has changed is easy access AND a sudden raise in the assumed age of maturity.

Not that long ago (50-200 years) it was not uncommon for young folks to be considered FULL adults at 18, 16 or even 13/14.

Feb. 27th, 2006 07:31 am (UTC)
Actually, until the 20th century, adulthood was pretty much puberty, where it biologically is. All of this "18" business is an artificial construct western society has come up with. Humans are fully capable of being "full adults" at 13, if they're raised wisely and responsibly.
Mar. 1st, 2006 02:11 am (UTC)
an artificial construct western society has come up with.

This is what I call an "artificial dependency." It defines something that forces everything else to depend upon it, but it is simply a thought or idea that is there because people need something with which to operate, not realizing that this idea will affect things in the future. It is simply a "handle" onto which one's mind can grab.

Put differently, it is "racism", "class-ism", and "pull my finger" (but with a twist -- it isn't fun.)

I have been working with this idea for a very long time and the more I see it the more I know it is... artificial... sometimes harmful, but more just... a fakeness which damages one's ability to think clearly.

(oddharmonic delete this if it bothers you, as always.)
Feb. 27th, 2006 11:51 am (UTC)
This is a great article. Thank you!
Feb. 27th, 2006 07:14 pm (UTC)
You are the wisest parent, Melissa. Thank you--on behalf of the rest of society.

Sep. 4th, 2006 04:10 pm (UTC)
HPV and Gardosil!!
I read your blog entry on a website regarding wanting to give your girls this vaccine... you seem like a very well-versed and well-read woman...
Gardosil only vaccinates against 4 of the more than 100 strains of this virus... and HPV is a Sexually Transmitted disease... so: If you don't have it and are married and you and your husband choose not to sleep around... you have NO RISK OF CONTRACTING THIS VIRUS!! I have NO idea why they aren't talking about the fact that HPV is sexually transmitted but it really makes me furious that people are willing to inject foreign chemicals into their children, especially, without properly educating themselves about what is in them... the vaccines I mean.

Kiera W. (age: 27, mother of 2, 1 on-the-way!)

Please... please think twice about injecting your children with anything and do SOME RESEARCH!! It's not hard the info is right here on the internet. 99% of the Medical Doctors out there only know as much as the drug representatives that sell the meds tell them for that 1-2 hour period they spend in the MD's office. MD's, especially the general practice/ pediatricians, know a little about alot, but they definetly don't know everything about anything... please keep this in mind.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )


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Melissa, starry-eyed soy-lovin' Expatriated Zulu

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