I have a reasonable complement of stain removers and household cleaners at hand and could ask Vogon to pick up any recommended product we don't have tomorrow, but I'm at a loss for what to try. Oxygen-based cleaners? Wine Out?
Caveat: Please word replies in short sentences. I've been taking ibuprofen and Sudafed regularly, but I'm still running a temperature and my head and chest feel stuffed like a frelling piñata.