December 13th, 2006

Manga-style me

Do I look like a "Juan Torres"? Does Vogon? *snicker*

We get a seemingly endless variety of mail addressed to names that are not ours. Usually they're 'close', like a random first name with either my or Vogon's last name, or are simply mis-sent to someone who has the same street and apartment number as ours on a different street.

Lately we've been getting more and more envelopes from the Texas Department of Public Safety, which oversees driver licensing, addressed to a Juan Torres. I'd been writing "addressee does not live here", "address has had same occupant for five years and has no idea who addressee is" and things like that before returning them, but they keep coming. I wonder why this guy is using our address for his driver's license.

I finally opened up one of the letters a few weeks ago and found out the guy owes several hundred dollars in annual maintenance charges to the state for having been caught driving with either no license or no insurance.

In today's mail, our mystery man got a jury duty summons. It's not for the county we're actually located in, but one adjacent to ours.

Since I already opened it up and it asks the addressee to fill out and return the juror questionnaire within ten days, I plan to write a nice brief letter pointing out that:

  1. the mailing address is in [our] County, not [adjacent] County;

  2. the addressee does not live here and has not in the past five years; and

  3. we have no idea who the addressee is anyway, but they might want to talk with the Department of Public Safety because they're looking for him too.