August 3rd, 2006


I'm gay!, or things Laurel shouted in a checkout aisle.

SCENE: "15 items or less" grocery checkout aisle, 12:30 PM. We are waiting behind two people and a queue is rapidly forming behind us. Laurel, mildly bored by waiting, is looking at the covers of magazines next to the checkout stand.

Laurel: [reading the headline on a magazine] I'm Gay!

People around us look vaguely uncomfortable, particularly the woman immediately behind us in line.

Laurel: What does 'I'm gay' mean?
Me: It's like J-- and I--.

(J-- is my cousin; I-- is his boyfriend.)

Laurel: So what does 'gay' mean?
Me: It's when a man loves a man.
Laurel: [giggles]
Me: It's just a way people are, like having different-colored eyes. Just in our family, you have blue eyes, I have brown eyes and Daddy has green eyes.

The woman behind us now looks extremely uncomfortable.

Laurel: I'm gay! I'm gay!
Vogon and Me: [simultaneously] That's enough, Laurel.


The first time I explained homosexuality to her in the context of J-- and I--, she asked if that she could be their flower girl when they get married. I'm not sure whether I'll be relieved or mildly sad when that magazine goes off the newsstands.