July 26th, 2003

Mischevious

Never watch children's television with me.

To counter their fabulous weekday children's programming (kids' stuff from 0700 or 0730 to 1800 except for an hour and a half in the early afternoon which is either arts/crafts or women's issues, then a half hour of a GED or ESL program), the statewide PBS in North Carolina puts their Saturday morning programming really early so there's crap to watch after 1000 on Saturdays until the cooking shows come on (I love America's Test Kitchen, it appeals to my stomach and my inner geek) since we refuse to watch crap like Trading Spaces: Boys vs. Girls and Endurance on NBC's Discovery Kids block. I'd guess this is why normal people get cable. (If Noggin still showed vintage 'Street, Electric Company and such in the wee hours of the morning I'd get digital cable just to PVR/tape them.)

So since I'm heading into that last premenstrual day where I'm suddenly manic, I woke up with Laurel for once and turned the TV on and said "holy sh*t it's Elmo!" before I realized she was in earshot. Not a pleasant thing for me to see this early in the morning, that's for sure. I want Grover back. I want to hear Jim Henson's Muppet voices. And I want to get the piano at my parents' tuned so I can play it after I get home until I'm threatened with a beatdown if I play "Somebody Come And Play" one more time.

Also, I want to go out and get a McGriddle. They can't screw those up like the last time I ordered a bacon egg and cheese biscuit and got a biscuit with the egg, but something that looked like poorly made cheesesteak instead of bacon and cheese. I'm still giggling at the memory of dictator88's comment that their thesis should be lack of pork causes terrorism... except that the only pork I eat is bacon. I don't like the texture of pork.

Now that Angelina Ballerina's on, I fail to see what children see in it although the line "Mrs. Thimble's turned to stinky cheese!" made me laugh. At least they speak intelligible English, unlike Maisy or the increasingly speech-impedimented Baby Bear. I dislike his presence on Sesame Street too since part of the original aim of Sesame Street was to model good English-speaking skills for children.

kenwestervelt, if you want our recliner I'd appreciate it if you could pick it up sometime soon.

I swear the heavily accented ballet teacher on Angelina Ballerina just said the foreign student coming to visit was from her "homeland of Wachovia". (Wachovia is a bank/financial services company in the southern United States.) I need to turn the captioning on since this is almost as difficult to understand as when local news channels are "cute" and have local schoolchildren read the weather in a drawl so thick it could be canned and sold next to pie filling. Denver people: am I the only one who looks forward to Kathy Sabine's weather forecasts on channel 9? She's yummy.