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From this week's Savage Love:
Third, Concerned Women for America doesn't think Mary Cheney should have a baby. Great, fine, whatever. But Mary Cheney's uterus belongs to Mary Cheney, Janice, and she can do whatever the f*ck she likes with it. She can have babies with it or keep her car keys in it or fill it up with potting soil and plant tulips in it. It's her f*cking uterus, Janice, not yours. And if you keep inserting yourself into it people are gonna think you're a dyke too, or Heather Poe is going to show up on your doorstep and beat the holy living h*ll out of you.


Someone please explain to me exactly how I can use my uterus as a flowerpot, because that is all kinds of awesome.

Come to think of it, it'd be pretty useful as a key holder, too. I keep forgetting to clip my housekeys into the carabiner and they wind up in the bottom of my pretty (but mostly useless) girlie purse.

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
suburbfabulous
Dec. 14th, 2006 10:30 am (UTC)
Just promise me that "girlie purse" isn't a euphemism.
It's all I ask, really...>8)X
oddharmonic
Dec. 15th, 2006 03:50 am (UTC)
It's a little handbag from the Gap. It's much cuter than my old teardrop-shaped 'back saver' bag but much less usable since I like to carry around more than just a wallet and my cell phone.

I'm one of those people that get approached by parents I don't really know at school and Scouting functions because they "heard" that I have safety pins, a small sewing kit, band-aids, etc.
stakingaclaim
Dec. 14th, 2006 02:52 pm (UTC)
oh seriously. I'm always losing my keys, and surely if I kept them in my uterus it would be difficult for me to lose them.
oddharmonic
Dec. 15th, 2006 03:55 am (UTC)
But then we'd need new clothing access to that orifice because I wouldn't want to have to take my pants off to get my keys out at my car or door. (:
cadswhim
Dec. 14th, 2006 03:02 pm (UTC)
The first time I find myself with a mouth full of potting soil, I'm coming after you for putting the idea out there.

This could spread like wildfire.
oddharmonic
Dec. 15th, 2006 03:52 am (UTC)
If I packed my uterus with potting soil, it wouldn't be leaking out during cunnilingus. Such is the wonder of the cervical os!

Cervix with a smile,
oddharmonic
polyhymnia
Dec. 14th, 2006 04:37 pm (UTC)
That excerpt is just all kinds of awesme, generally. *laughsnorting*
kat_chan
Dec. 14th, 2006 07:24 pm (UTC)
There are times that Dan Savage can be so hilarious while he skewers the nutjob right. Like the whole "give me a gay-sex-related definition that we can attach to 'santorum'" bit. This is pretty damned good, too. It just demonstrates how these people aren't "pro-life" but "pro-intrusion". They'd probably love for a nasty, dirty dyke like Mary Cheney having an abortion (though, um, hello...lesbian pregnancies are the ultimate in 'planned' pregnancies!), but they won't in a million years admit that.
gamahucheur
Dec. 15th, 2006 03:31 am (UTC)
Most of us agree that some people are unfit to be parents. I and probably everyone else on your Friends list think that Mary Cheney and her partner will be fine parents, but I'd bet that each of us, if not posturing, could point to someone who we've object to bearing children. There's a good chance, in fact, that there would be a non-empty intersection of each of our sets.

Yet Dan Savage's über·bogus principle would not allow any woman to be blocked from bearing a child (nor, presumably, and man, should he find a willing woman).

A good offense probably is one of the best defenses; in any event, a poor offense is a lousy defense.
oddharmonic
Dec. 15th, 2006 05:02 am (UTC)
I don't think any woman should be blocked from bearing a child until she's proven herself unfit, whether by substance abuse during pregnancy or postpartum screwing up.

I also think voluntary sterilization should be a lot easier to have done because I would not have had children of my own if I could have found a doctor willing to consider that I really was sure I did not want to have children before the situation happened that result in Laurel's conception. (I'm still childfree at heart, but I am doing my best to parent Laurel and be a positive role model for her. I will not have another child.)
gamahucheur
Dec. 15th, 2006 06:28 am (UTC)
You and I agree that some sort of real and substantial proof of unfitness should be required before a woman were block from having children. But the point here is that what's relevant is the type and level of proof. CWfA needs to be challenged on that issue, rather than being told that the creätion of a human being is simply the prerogative of anyone who owns a working uterus.
oddharmonic
Dec. 15th, 2006 05:10 am (UTC)
I still try to slip "santorum" into regular conversation with adult company.

I also feel like I should defend Mary Cheney because she's a local in my mind. She lives in Conifer, Colorado, an unincorporated town just to the south of Evergreen. Our mountain community is rather private when it comes to dishing on residents who are in the public eye. (Among the higher profile residents of the area are numerous professional athletes, a retired astronaut, and a photographer whose work regularly appears in National Geographic. Evergreen was a resort town in the early 20th century and there's still a base of old money up there although it's largely become a bedroom community to Denver since then.)
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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