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SCENE: "15 items or less" grocery checkout aisle, 12:30 PM. We are waiting behind two people and a queue is rapidly forming behind us. Laurel, mildly bored by waiting, is looking at the covers of magazines next to the checkout stand.

Laurel: [reading the headline on a magazine] I'm Gay!

People around us look vaguely uncomfortable, particularly the woman immediately behind us in line.

Laurel: What does 'I'm gay' mean?
Me: It's like J-- and I--.

(J-- is my cousin; I-- is his boyfriend.)

Laurel: So what does 'gay' mean?
Me: It's when a man loves a man.
Laurel: [giggles]
Me: It's just a way people are, like having different-colored eyes. Just in our family, you have blue eyes, I have brown eyes and Daddy has green eyes.

The woman behind us now looks extremely uncomfortable.

Laurel: I'm gay! I'm gay!
Vogon and Me: [simultaneously] That's enough, Laurel.

...

The first time I explained homosexuality to her in the context of J-- and I--, she asked if that she could be their flower girl when they get married. I'm not sure whether I'll be relieved or mildly sad when that magazine goes off the newsstands.

Comments

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
rosedoe
Aug. 3rd, 2006 09:39 pm (UTC)
OMG. That's too funny. Kids are great.
ronimaymac
Aug. 3rd, 2006 09:46 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHHAHAAH

Greatness.
freeballoon
Aug. 3rd, 2006 09:48 pm (UTC)
That's cute. Lance's facial expression is pretty funny on that cover.
catseye9
Aug. 6th, 2006 03:37 am (UTC)
Hey, thanks for adding me. =)
vogonpoet
Aug. 8th, 2006 11:12 am (UTC)
I should have been more alert -- if I'd realized that the woman behind us was so upset I'd have asked her if she was gay. {evil grin} And, when she said, "No!" I'd have asked her if she wanted to learn how to be.

I seem to have that effect on women -- I think you're the first one in a long time that I haven't turned. LOL
(Anonymous)
Jan. 12th, 2007 09:13 pm (UTC)
hm I don't think it's good to advocate homosexuality to a child, as most homosexuals are condemned to hell.
oddharmonic
Jan. 12th, 2007 11:46 pm (UTC)
I don't think it's good to leave hateful comments anonymously, but I will defend your right to make them.

How are things going up at Genesys Regional Medical Center? (That's where IP address 204.80.212.1 originates.)
clemidia
Jan. 13th, 2007 06:39 am (UTC)
I disagree, Melissa.

I DON'T defend any anonymous poster's so-called "rights." It's cowardice at its best.

It's also one reason why I insist people who comment in my LJ at least have the balls to say who they are. I am entitled to that much.

You should be, too.

Just another MI asshole,
W.
king_chiron
Jan. 13th, 2007 04:06 am (UTC)
Phew, good thing Hell doesn't exist then!
angelpez
Jan. 13th, 2007 02:32 am (UTC)
How else are are you suppose to tell kids? I'm confused by that. You can't lie to them!
oddharmonic
Jan. 13th, 2007 07:19 am (UTC)
There are people that tell children point blank that homosexuality is wrong and that homosexuals will go to hell. I grew up in a much more tolerant environment, so I didn't realize how divisive it is to people until I was in high school and heard people use derogatory terms for sexual orientation as an insult.

Looking back I'm really impressed at how well my parents minimized the impact those words had to me. Since I'd been called a racial slur for the first time in middle school, when I got to high school I was ready to calmly point out why those words were a poor choice for insults.

Not that I was much better; my preferred insults at the time were phrases in Latin like "sheep breeder" or "wax eater".
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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oddharmonic
Melissa, starry-eyed soy-lovin' Expatriated Zulu

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