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While thinking about the relative progress we are making potty-training (Laurel only shat her pants twice last week and has clogged the toilet with overenthusiastic amounts of toilet paper just once this month), I saw a reference in a post on my Friends List to Jeff Vogel's The Story About the Baby. I found the following selection particularly entertaining, especially for future reference if someone asks why Laurel's an only child:

"When deciding whether to have children, I spent some time agonizing about whether I wanted to do so for a bad reason. Now, in the thick of the fight, I see the truth. There are no bad reasons to have children.

"For there to be bad reasons to have children, there have to be good reasons to have children, and I can see clearly now that there are no good reasons to have children.

"Actually, that’s not quite right. I can think of a bad reason to have children. You shouldn’t have a child in order to dry it out and sell it as an aphrodisiac for Asian businessmen."

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
toddler_hiway
Feb. 28th, 2005 03:35 pm (UTC)
Yeah. You'll get a better profit margin from harvesting them for their organs.
oddharmonic
Feb. 28th, 2005 04:26 pm (UTC)
I don't think I'd even recoup my investment to date if I did that.

I agree with the author that having children makes one retarded. I actually wanted to have a second child for quite some time on the lame reason that I didn't want Laurel to be an only child. Luckily rational thought does occasionally get through, so I am looking forward to getting permanently sterilized as soon as I can afford it.
freeballoon
Feb. 28th, 2005 07:10 pm (UTC)
sterilization
How much does it cost? Are you seriously going to do that?
oddharmonic
Feb. 28th, 2005 07:30 pm (UTC)
Re: sterilization
I'd like Essure, a non-surgical procedure that blocks the fallopian tube. Planned Parenthood quoted me a cost of $1800 last year and I plan to have it done as soon as I can afford it, which is a few years down the road.

I've wanted to be permanently sterilized since my mid-teens and the circumstances that led into my pregnancy further cemented that desire for me.
paradoxymoron
Mar. 1st, 2005 03:33 am (UTC)
Swift's A Modest Proposal? haha

And what's wrong with blocking the toilet with too much toilet paper? As long as you teach her the wonders of the plunger, it's all good.
oddharmonic
Mar. 3rd, 2005 02:53 am (UTC)
I am way too lazy to eat children. The only bone-in meat products we buy are whole turkeys, pre-sliced hams and the occasional whole chicken or chicken parts for soup or other recipes using cut-up meat.

She's watched me use the plunger, but I don't think she has the dexterity to use it herself yet since she says it's too hard to flush the toilet. (She asks me to flush it _most_ of the time after she's used it, but the toilets here clog easily so it should be flushed every time.)
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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oddharmonic
Melissa, starry-eyed soy-lovin' Expatriated Zulu

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