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Potentially inappropriate conversation snippets from lunch:

After getting a superball from a gumball machine, Laurel announced "I love balls!". I replied "I'm sure that will make some man very happy someday," to which she responded "I'll make that one happy!" and pointed at the man in line behind us. Props to him for either not hearing or acting like he didn't because I was laughing so hard I couldn't see.

Vogon, keeping an eye on the headline crawl on the big-screen TV behind me, mentioned when the Pantera/Damageplan shooting headline was up (I'd told him about it a few minutes earlier). I saw a plasticy-looking chick singing in the main story and remarked, "It's too bad they didn't shoot her." Got a few weird looks from the table between us and the TV, then Vogon told me she was from American Idol.

Comments

( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
mountain_hiker
Dec. 9th, 2004 07:05 pm (UTC)
My balls are too sensitive to be squeezed or sucked on. It kinda sucks (pun not intended).

Years ago, I felt an dull pain in my left testicle. Upon examination, the doctor told me that it was a varicocoele, which is a varicosity of the vein draining blood from the testicle. I think that may be why I'm sensitive down there.
oddharmonic
Dec. 9th, 2004 07:38 pm (UTC)
*nods* I've seen varicocoeles before.

We joke a lot about how Laurel will make a future partner happy between her oral fixation and her regular announcement that she likes balls (we have a lot of superballs around the house). This was the first time she's replied in such a potentially NSFW way!
vogonpoet
Dec. 10th, 2004 03:37 pm (UTC)
I have that on both sides. Hurts like a MF, doesn't it?
mountain_hiker
Dec. 13th, 2004 06:06 pm (UTC)
Well, mine never really hurt too bad. Just kind of a dull pain sensation, like having Wayne Allad as a US Senator.
mountain_hiker
Dec. 13th, 2004 06:07 pm (UTC)
*Allard
with_this_sigh
Dec. 9th, 2004 08:04 pm (UTC)
hahahah that's great
oddharmonic
Dec. 9th, 2004 08:48 pm (UTC)
I'm amazed more people don't object to when I laugh that hard at something. The last time I laughed so hard I could see was when I saw a woman with visible nipple outline that looked like she'd hooked her thumbs under her shirt in Raleigh-Durham airport. I laughed through the furthest baggage claim and into the airline office I was picking something up at, where I told the person at the desk what I'd seen and he laughed and said they'd seen her too. I was sure someone would have said something because while I was laughing, Laurel was on her baby leash and imitating me laughing.
with_this_sigh
Dec. 9th, 2004 08:49 pm (UTC)
hahaha
one day emma and bella (3&4) were playing with their socks which have little pom pos on them and Emma, out of nowhere grabs the sock from bella and says "let go of my balls, freak"
oddharmonic
Dec. 9th, 2004 09:51 pm (UTC)
*laughs* That's awesome. I would have laughed myself sick.

Laurel's only recently discovered fancy socks, so we haven't gotten to pom-poms yet.
with_this_sigh
Dec. 9th, 2004 10:30 pm (UTC)
haha yeah i DID laugh myself sick...
And I have a butterfly tattoo on my neck, which Emma is OBSESSED with. every day she asks me several times to "see your fuckerfly" hahahahaha.. she can't say butterfly for anything... but Fuckerfly comes outgreat.

The Idea of Laurel and pom pom socks makes me happy, for some reason. I think she'd looove them. I looked at your pics fom the beach of Kevin and you and Laurel. THey are fantasic. SO Nice. I especially love the pictures of you guys in the water, and the wave the Laurel REALLy caught
blueeyed
Dec. 9th, 2004 08:15 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha. I LOVE Laurel!
with_this_sigh
Dec. 9th, 2004 08:41 pm (UTC)
haha she's funny, i enjoy hearing the "laurelisms" like "i like balls" and "it smells like a wet dog in here"
blueeyed
Dec. 9th, 2004 08:53 pm (UTC)
I like that she pointed to a specific man and said that she'd make him happy. I wonder what she meant, how she was going to make him happy.

Melissa, you should really write these things down in a book for her. She'll appreciate hearing them later, much later.
with_this_sigh
Dec. 9th, 2004 08:58 pm (UTC)
i totally agree. Melissa, you should write these things down for her. Even the trials and tribulations of potty training
oddharmonic
Dec. 9th, 2004 09:46 pm (UTC)
That's what I keep my LJ for. A lot of her baby book's still empty since it's moved so many times (yearly since she was born), so I've kept notes on my computer and online to fill it in later.
vogonpoet
Dec. 10th, 2004 03:48 pm (UTC)
You want a real New Year's resolution? Try this on for size:

"I will not move this year (unless it is into a better place that's less than just a couple of miles away)."

LOL I really suck at those, don't I?
oddharmonic
Dec. 9th, 2004 09:36 pm (UTC)
Well, when she says she's going to make me happy, she draws a picture; Biko, pets her; and Vogon, does what he asks, so I guess that she'd either draw him a picture or do what he asks. (;

I've been keeping notes to put into her baby book if/when it shows up. (It's been packed for over a year now and Himself reportedly took all the books and said he'll send mine.)
blueeyed
Dec. 9th, 2004 10:29 pm (UTC)
Hopefully she wasn't thinking about petting him. I think it's so sweet when kids draw pictures. I have a few on my wall at home that are really great. I love the one that my 10-year old cousin (Erin) drew for me. In it, I'm way taller than my brother (who is about 5" taller than me).

Ugh, Himself. Maybe I've missed it, but why don't more people want to kick his ass? I'm glad you're keeping notes. When I babysit, and a kid says something funny, I usually write it down. Sometimes I find random notes when I clean my room. I found a Grahamism that I'd forgotten about. We were waiting in the car near the post office. A bald guy walked by, and Graham said, "There goes daddy!" His dad is bald, but totally didn't look like this guy. I couldn't stop laughing. I can't think of anything that's funnier than Laurel's comment about balls though. One time the baby was crying, and Graham told me to feed her with my boob. That was almost as funny, but not quite.
oddharmonic
Dec. 9th, 2004 09:01 pm (UTC)
I worry she'll be mortified when she's older, but I figure it's important to document what she says.

My mother wrote in my baby book that my first words and phrases included 'doggy' and 'go potty', so I can only imagine what kind of amusing things I must have said about our elderly dog.



blueeyed
Dec. 9th, 2004 09:06 pm (UTC)
Well, she probably won't think the balls thing is funny when she's a teenager, but she will when she's in her 20's, I think.

"Go potty"- haha. My brother called everything (cars, people, etc.) "dog-dog". What a weirdo. He also told us that he wanted to be a "Chinese flying police man". His goals have shifted a bit since then.
lil_sass
Dec. 9th, 2004 08:59 pm (UTC)
I had to *try* to explain why Asia couldn't use the term, pussy, to name her catlike neopet on the neopet site and *try* to explain to her why it's not appropriate to use the term, tittie, over and over in the grocery store.

Oh, the joys! and good for you, having a good ole belly laugh, it definitely made me giggle.
oddharmonic
Dec. 9th, 2004 09:12 pm (UTC)
Laurel hasn't picked up the term pussy yet, though she hears me call Biko "puss puss" when I want her to sit on my lap.

I'm chuckling at the image of Asia saying tittie in the grocery store. My baby sister (ten years younger than me) went along on a clothes-shopping trip when I was in high school and when she saw all the padded/lined bras standing at attention in the underwear department, she ran up to them shouting "Boobies! Boobies!". When she bought her first bra, we asked her what she thought of it. She replied, "I don't want boobies."
revme
Dec. 10th, 2004 02:39 am (UTC)
Vogon, keeping an eye on the headline crawl on the big-screen TV behind me, mentioned when the Pantera/Damageplan shooting headline was up (I'd told him about it a few minutes earlier). I saw a plasticy-looking chick singing in the main story and remarked, "It's too bad they didn't shoot her." Got a few weird looks from the table between us and the TV, then Vogon told me she was from American Idol.

...I'm not sure what's inappropriate about that. Seems wholly rational to me.
oddharmonic
Dec. 10th, 2004 02:48 am (UTC)
It's just of questionable appropriateness to say in a restaurant, not that it stopped me.
revme
Dec. 10th, 2004 02:50 am (UTC)
I think people in restaurants should be exposed to rationality.

I accidentally threw an extra "s" into "exposed". I almost kept it, so they could be sexposed to rationality.

( 25 comments — Leave a comment )

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Melissa, starry-eyed soy-lovin' Expatriated Zulu

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